Buckle Up, It’s Gonna be a Bumpy Road!

Resilience, the ability to quickly recover and bounce back from difficulties. I have had a fortunate life, compared to some, though I’ve experienced my own share of difficulties. To me, those difficulties translate to challenges, a chance to grow and to thrive. A chance to figure things out. Resolve and evolve, that’s my mantra! 

Research shows that a variety of factors contributes to one’s resilience, from genetic factors, to environment, to personal history and habits, and, interestingly, research also reveals that despite any shortcomings, one can cultivate resilience and durability, but it takes work. Hard work. Dedicated work. Work that comes from YOU.

When you are in the midst of trauma, it’s difficult to see through to the end of that tunnel, seemingly impossible to imagine a happy ending. Because there IS no ending. There are only different paths, new discoveries, new ways of doing things, new opportunities. My recent brush with death ultimately simply made me stronger. A while back I was in a horrible car accident, almost dying, but I came back. It took time, trial and error. Most of all, it took work, hard, dedicated work. All the while I lost a few friends and a boyfriend (who needs ‘em?!). I lost some headway (but ultimately gained some). I lost perspective. Aha! And then, with time, with hard work, came clarity. Bright, clear, and shining clearly through the clouds. Ah. Serenity now!

With yoga, mindfulness, meditation and more importantly, a consistent, committed practice, I gained that clarity. I gained new relationships, found new paths. Strengthened my resilience, my resolve, priming me for this new challenge, COVID-19.  But it was a long, hard, climb, taking months and years of recovery. It continues.

I still have moments of fear and despair, both of which have deeply embedded themselves into my very bones, as Bessel van der Kolk asserts in his book, The Body Keeps the Score. I recently learned of his book as I underwent special yoga teacher training for sufferers of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I am one of millions and this condition is on the rise. I read and reread multiple entries that especially ring true of my own experience, helping me hold special space for myself, for clients, and for family and friends with their own special needs, whether they stem from a TBI, PTSD, the death of a loved one, or chronic stress brought on by the uncertainties of these crazy times. After all, we are all in this together.

In dark moments, I remind myself, that alongside that fear and despair, deep down in my bones, there is also strength, patience and wisdom. I do my best to turn up their volume. The days I can’t, I curl up on the couch with the cats, read a good book, talk to a friend or a sister, watch a good ‘ole black and white movie, take a walk and maybe a hot bath, and inevitably, end back up on the mat. 

Those things bring me back. Those things keep me from going into despair. Accepting that, although times are tough and can’t always be easy, they are temporary, but my response to them can be perennial, calm and mindful, rather than morose or chaotic. I draw from my experience, my own inner wisdom and trust in that inner voice that I know what’s best for me and what’s going to work for me. It is that person that is better equipped to navigate this crazy world and cultivate meaningful relationships with others who have their own share of strife, depression and despair. We are all in this together. Van der Kolk asserts that when we have people in our corner, even if they are halfway around the world, we are more likely to find that inner strength to trudge on, and to trudge on truly. With integrity. And forgiveness, as we happen upon the inevitable bumps in the road.  We have the power within us to heal, we have what it takes, we just have to find it, tweak it, practice and remain committed, and do all we can to tap into that reservoir of power.  Work at it, work hard, rest easy, and be well, my friends!

Here is a wonderful review of this book: 

And here is a link to a series of articles on resilience:

Ya’ll come back now, ya hear?!

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” – Helen Keller